Get Rich Quick

Everyone has fantasies of instant wealth.  Here are a few of mine: 

All Advertisements TV – People say there’s too much hype on the tube. However, the distasteful craziness is in the programming, not the ads. Imagine a channel with one great ad after another. Also, there could be themed hours such as cars, movies, furniture, perfume, clothing, beer, “greatest hits”, e.g., the E trade baby, nostalgia and so on.
 
All Obit Newspaper – Imagine if everyone received a full-fledged obituary. People’s snowflake-like stories deserve to be in print.  This could save the newspaper business.

Analogue LCD/LED Watch – Back in the 70s, a friend and I cooked this up after being frustrated by not seeing the rest of the day on the readouts of our digital watches.  We discussed it with a Chicago patent attorney who was surprised that no one had thought of it, which made us feel great. Then we ran out of money.

Barbie Movie – I pitched this to Mattel in the early 90s.  She is a horse trainer’s daughter, attending veterinary school on a scholarship and gets caught up in a racetrack bribery scheme.  The bad guys blackmail her dad.  Ken is a fellow student who helps her bust the case and save Pop from jail.  Climax is a big race.  The logic was that, although some people may not like Barbie, everyone loves horses.  I saw huge sales in India and the Middle East and asked for a percentage.  No dice.

Bible in Books – I have always wanted to read the Bible on airplane rides and hiking trips.  However, most editions are bulky, heavy and printed in tiny type. Why not divide it like a perennial clump?  Someone created the Yale Shakespeare in the 1920s:  forty small mid-blue hardbacks that lie flat.  I pitched this to a New York City publisher in 1996 and got turned away.  In ’99, Grove Press/Atlantic released “The Books of the Bible”, first in an excellent hardback series that is impossible to find and later in a paperback box set with smaller sized volumes printed in small type and bound too stiffly to lie flat—not worth finding.

CDs In Album Sleeves – I can’t read the tiny print on CD packaging, even with my glasses.  I miss large record covers.  Some artists got their start creating album photos and illustrations, while the classical and jazz “liner notes” were often brilliant. Besides, flimsy CD boxes are annoying. Why not rigidly package CD disks in the LP-sized sleeves?

“Santatra” – A retirement Christmas gig could be to sing both holiday and Sinatra songs in a semi-Santa outfit at resorts, Moose clubs and retirement homes.  Especially tropical resorts.  Then, in the summer, mix Sinatra with Handel and tour gardens under the stage name “Ol’ Green Man”.

 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 30th, 2008 at 7:53 pm and is filed under Original Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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