Archive for the 'Original Posts' Category

Three Cheers for the Fourth!

Welcome to the Fourth of July, our annual celebration of the people, by the people, and for the people. Today is a glory hallelujah kind of day, our most friendly, liveliest, and folksiest holiday, a jubilant reflection of our American spirit. In this disputatious time, we take this day to shift from partisan squabbling to […]

The Olive Branch of Government

Call this the decade of our discontent—the Terrible Teens. The only thing Americans, especially members of Congress, agree on is that we disagree, disagreeably. Amid the cacophony, we can’t even unite on the pronunciation of “divisive”, a word now enjoying currency; you say “di·vai·siv”, I say “di·vis·iv”. We have taken leave of our consensus. There […]

Closer to the Sun

The sun is getting brighter and the days longer.  On March 20th comes the Spring Equinox, marking the sun’s northward advance over our hemisphere and the promise of even more sunlight and warmth.  Let there be life. The sun had its first close-up recently, relayed in December by NASA’s Parker Solar Probe spacecraft.  The detailed […]

Santa’s Second Job

Call him Santa. Some moments ago—never mind how long precisely—after measuring the behavior of the world’s children, managing construction of several hundred million toys by elves, raising and tending magic reindeer, delivering said toys over one of the year’s longest nights, sleeping for twenty-four hours straight, then joining Mrs. Claus and Co. in their cherished […]

Conquering the Great Tomato Taste Crisis One Week at a Time

My fellow Americans, our country faces a tomato crisis. After a long, late winter, followed by a tantalizingly brief spring, a torrential summer has swept tomato plants along to their most insipid, bland and downright tasteless season ever. Tomato lovers still shudder as they recall last summer’s Great Drizzle of ’17, an unseasonably wet July […]

Good Day Sunshine

Grab the sunblock, a pair of shades and head outside today at noon, glance upward and notice the sun blazing directly above you.  Look down and you will see your shadow has nearly vanished.  The sun has reached its highest point; the dead of winter has become the earth restored—life in full. Welcome to the […]

Let There Be Light

Welcome to the first day of spring. Here comes the sun, punctual as ever. Spring feels new: a magic elixir that acts as both a tonic and a stimulant, soothing and energizing. Spring’s arrival coincides with the Spring (Vernal) Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere, when the center of the sun’s disk crosses the celestial equator […]

Welcome to the Year of the Dog

Tonight, at the stroke of midnight, begins the Chinese New Year. It’s the only national holiday celebrated around the world—across Asia, in Paris, London, San Francisco, New York—even Butte, Montana, which prides itself on having the loudest festivities anywhere. Welcome to the Year of the Dog! So long, Year of the Rooster! Going by the […]

Mission: Mistletoe

Christmas season in the Northern Hemisphere coincides with the winter solstice, bringing the darkest of cold, gray days. Many Americans compensate for the gloom outside by setting up a cheerful holiday scene inside: the fire dances, candles flicker, gold glints, silver glimmers, holly glistens, poinsettias pose. Lording over the merry panoply is the Christmas tree, […]

The People vs. Broccoli

Your Honor, I’d like to make some preliminary remarks to provide context and perspective on the case before the court. As a third generation seedsman, I have agreed to pro bono representation of Broccoli, the most maligned vegetable of all time. I shall prove that my client is the vegetable that can do no less […]